Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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