He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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