just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I can tuck mytits in my pants
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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