i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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