I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
