We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
