She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
