I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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