if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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