M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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