Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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