I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Reggie can tackle my bush.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Randomize
