You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
