Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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