Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
