Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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