ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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