My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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