Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
