Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
