The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
