Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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