he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize