U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize