if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
