She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
