hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My vagina is officially offended.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
