i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
How's work?
Spinning.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
