i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
