And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
