u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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