yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
