I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
