I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
tell me about the fingering
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