it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
my shit smells like andre
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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