It's like a parade of train wrecks.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
