Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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