hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
