I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
