I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
