I swear she didn't look like that last week.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
