we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
