): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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