can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
