I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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