its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
