from now on my penis is your penis
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
