I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
