I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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