Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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