Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
