i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
