VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
where am i from again
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
