I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize