But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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