Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
