My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
