That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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