She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
