My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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