I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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