haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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