so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
