she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize